Pangs

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.

This episode was originally broadcast on October 19, 1999.

This transcript is merely for those that do not have access to Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the TV. It is not to infringe on any copyrighted material, merely to spread and promote BTVS. Feel free to distribute this, so long as there are no modifications made.

Cut to a forresty area. We see a guy walking along. He pauses as a branch breaks nearby. He continues walking after a minute. He turns around and sees Buffy.

Guy : Oh!

Buffy : Looking for me?

Guy : Holy--what do you want?

Buffy punches him. The guy looks startled, then vamps out.

Vampire : Uhh! Hey!

Buffy : Look who's home?

Vampire : A slayer. Why don't you just go back where you came from? Things were great before you came.

Buffy punches him again, then kicks him. He goes down and as he gets he backhands her in the stomach. She backhands him in the face and he hits the ground. As he's getting up she grabs him from behind and stakes him.

Buffy : And they say one person can't make a difference.

We then pan to where Angel can be seen hiding in the foiliage.

Cut to a lawn outside a building site. We see the dean on a podium making a speech. There is a small gathering watching.

Dean guerrero: Of all the duties of a dean, one of the most pleasant is to see a colleague realize a dream. Ladies, gentlemen, students, I present to you professor Gerhardt of the anthropology department.

Prof Gerhardt replaces the dean at the podium.

Gerhardt : When I first realized we were outgrowing our current cultural center, I was concerned. Then I realized It was like seeing one's child grow up and move on to better things. In this case, a spacious new facility to be built on this site...

Cut to where Buffy, Willow and Anya are standing together. Xander is at the site as a construciton worker.

Anya : Look at him. Have you ever seen anything so masculine?

Buffy : You mean guerrero or his wife?

Willow : I think she means... (Referring to Xander who's waiting to begin digging.)

Buffy : Oh. Very manly. Not at all village people. (Yes, very village people, actually.) So much sexier than the outfit from his last job.

Willow : Oh, I miss the free hot dogs on sticks.

Anya : I'm imagining having sex with him right now.

Back to Gerhardt continuing her speech.

Gerhardt : And that's why it's appropriate that the ground-breaking for the uc sunnydale cultural partnership center is taking place so soon before thanksgiving. Because that's what the melting pot is about-- Contributions from all cultures, making our culture stronger...

Cut to the girls again, Buffy begins to clap but stops as Willow interjects.

Willow : What a load of horse hooey.

Buffy : We have a counterpoint?

Willow : Yeah. Thanksgiving isn't about blending of 2 cultures. It's about one culture wiping out another. And then they make animated specials about the part where, with the maize and the big, big belt buckles. They don't show you the next scene, where all the bison die and squanto takes a musket ball in the stomach.

Buffy : Ok. Now, for some of that, you were channeling your mother?

Willow : Well, yeah, sort of. That's why she doesn't celebrate thanksgiving or columbus day-- You know, the destruction of the indigenous peoples. I know it sounds a little overwrought, but really, she's...She's right.

Buffy : Yeah. I guess I never really thought about it that way. With mom at aunt darlene's this year, I'm not getting a thanksgiving. Maybe it's just as well.

Anya : Well, I think that's a shame. I love a ritual sacrifice.

Buffy : It's not really a one of those.

Anya : To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice, with pie.

Back to the professor's speech.

Gerhardt : ...And thus, a symbolic beginning.

She goes over and commences with the ground breaking ceremony.

Anya : (Inscensed.) What's she doing? Xander said he was going to dig. I want to see Xander dig.

Buffy : That's part's just ceremonial.

Anya : Well, it bites. She's not rippling at all. Oh. Look, there he goes. (We see Xander begin digging in earnest. She sighs.) Look at him.

Willow : Very...Diggy.

Anya : Soon he'll be sweating. I'm imagining having sex with him again.

Buffy : Imaginary Xander is quite the machine.

Xander is still digging when suddenly the ground breaks away beneath him. He plumments to an underground chamber.

Xander : Uhh! Ow. I'm ok! I'm, uh... I'm ok! (He looks around.) Where am I okay?

We see Angel in the shadows hiding behind trees again. He's staring up at Buffy's window. Cut to Buffy and Willow's room.

Willow : While they were pulling Xander out, I heard a couple of the anthro professors talking about it. Man, were they excited. It's the old sunnydale mission, which everyone thought was lost.

Buffy : (Staring out the window.) Huh?

Willow : Is there something out there?

Buffy : Hmm? Oh. No. I'm sorry. A lost mission. I mean, a hairbrush I can understand. And by the way, I will find that and get that back to you. But how do you lose a mission?

Willow : Huge earthquake in 1812. Everyone just assumed the mission was leveled. Instead, they built right over it. It's like what happened in the thirties with that church the master was in. Doesn't it make you wonder what else is there, like, right under our feet?

Buffy : Mostly, I've just found sewers full of demons.

Willow : Oh, right. (Outside we hear students running mad through the halls with excitement.) Man, it's crazy out there.

Buffy : Mm-hmm. Post-midterm frenzy. And the holiday. Everyone's going home.

Willow : It looks like a lot of lucky moms are gonna be getting brimming baskets of dirty laundry.

Buffy : It's so not fair. I mean, they all get a family holiday just because they can go home to their families.

Willow : Hmm, it's a turvy-topsy world.

Buffy : You know what? I should have my own thanksgiving. I can cook the meal, just like my mom does, have all you guys over. It'll be great.

Willow : Buffy, earlier you agreed with me about Thanksgiving. It's a sham. It's all about death.

Buffy : It is a sham, but it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham.

Willow : You're not gonna jokey-rhyme your way out of this one.

Buffy : I know... But I want it. It's like professor Walsh was saying about sense memory. I smell a roasting turkey, and I'm 8 years old. I liked having that to look forward to. Everything's different now.

Willow : Well, I suppose there could be slight yams.

Buffy : I mean, we could definitely use a little comfort food. I bet giles doesn't have any plans. And Xander always tries to avoid all of his family gatherings.

Willow : Ooh. We could not invite anya.

Buffy : I don't know. She and xander seem pretty tight lately. Look, pilgrims aside, isn't that the whole point of thanksgiving-- Everybody has a place to go?

Cut to Spike walking around the forrest, wearing a blanket looking desolate. Cut to Riley, Graham and Forrest in commando gear, patrolling the forrest looking for Spike.

Forrest : Man, I'm beat.

Riley : We'll do one more sweep, then cash it in.

Forrest : I gotta pack tonight. You got a flight?

Riley : Wednesday night. Professor walsh wants me here for the debriefing.

Forrest : That's a pretty short thanksgiving.

Riley : Hey, with a hostile on the loose, we're lucky to be going home at all.

Forrest : It's neutered. The implant works great. He can't hurt a single living thing.

Riley : As long as he knows about the initiative, he's a threat. We do this the professor's way.

Forrest : (Coughing the words.) Mama's boy.

Riley : That's a nasty cough. You might need to spend the weekend in quarantine.

Forrest : Oh, no. I'm done coughing.

Riley : I just don't want anyone getting sick. (He pats Forrest on the arm.)

Cut to Xander's basement/room. Anya comes in as Xander is finishing dressing for work. He looks worn out.

Anya : Xander, what are you doing? You're supposed to be digging. I went to watch you digging, and you weren't there doing it.

Xander : I'm going now. Just...Kinda tough getting going today.

Anya : (Feeling his forehead.) Your head is moist. Oh! You're sick. Well, you can't go to work.

Xander : (Anya pushes him back on the bed.) Uh. Oh. Anya?

Anya : You're pasty and wet and disgusting. They can dig without you.

Xander : (Groaning.) Look-- I don't really feel that bad.

Anya : I inflicted a lot of putrefying diseases on men when I was an avenging demon, and you look like you're getting all of them.

Xander : (Giving in.) Ok. I'll stay. But you should go. You could catch it.

Anya : (Perkily.) We'll die together. It's romantic. Let me get your trousers off. (She begins to undress him.)

Xander : You're a strange girlfriend.

Anya : I'm a girlfriend?

Xander : Uh...There's a chance I'm delirious.

Anya : Ah, yes. Well, whatever it is that's making you sick, so far, I like it.

Cut to the Professor Gerhardt on the phone.

Gerhardt : It's a very exciting opportunity. I can't wait to go down there myself. It's just...Well, it's means we're going to have to start looking for a new location. ... No, it's really up to the dean. ... I just hope this doesn't cost us another year. ... Ok. Talk to you later.

We see green smoke coalesing around an ancient knife. The professor inspects it and the smoke turns into a native american. He grabs the knife, seizes the professor and slits her throat.

Willow and Buffy are inspecting the site of the professors death.

Willow : I'll never get used to this. One day, she's at the friendship ceremony. The next day, she's on the news. The coroner's office said she was missing an ear. So I'm thinking, Maybe we're looking for a witch. There's some great spells that work much better with an ear in the mix.

Buffy : That's one fun little hobby you've got there, Will.

Willow : Or...Or maybe an ear-harvesting demon that--it's, like, building another demon completely out of ears. Or...Ooh. Thought. We're just assuming someone else cut off the ear. What if it was self-inflicted, like van gogh?

Buffy : So...She brutally stabs herself, dumped the body, then cut off her own ear?

Willow : No. She cut off her ear, then killed herself, then dumped the body-- I'm really off my game, aren't I?

Buffy : Yeah. Wait. Something's missing from this case. (She reads the inscription.) "Early 1800 chumash knife." There's a picture.

Willow : What's it look like?

Cut to Buffy in Giles kitchen getting the food ready for thanksgiving dinner.

Buffy : Pretty darn scary. It more like a riot than a ralph's.

Buffy : I thought I was going to have to use slayer moves on this one woman who was completely hoarding the pumpkin pie filling.

Giles : And at some point, you are going to tell me about the murder?

Buffy : Oh, right. The knife was some sort of indian artifact. Chumash, I think. That's all we got.

Giles : Oh, chumash indians. They were indigenous to this whole area.

Buffy : That's interesting.

Giles : Then, of course, the murder weapon might have just been a convenient choice.

Buffy : Uh-uh. There was a big ol' scissors lying right there. That knife was picked for a reason. Do you even own a turkey pan?

Giles : Tell me again why we're not doing this at your house.

Buffy : Giles, if you would like to get by in american society, then you are going to have to follow our traditions. You're the patriarch. You have to host the festivities, or it's all meaningless.

Giles : And this is in no way an elaborate scheme to stick me with the cleanup?

Buffy : How about that ceremonial knife, huh? Pretty juicy piece of clueage, don't you think?

Giles : Yes, all right, I'll look into the chumash connection and see if there's any ritual significance to the ear removal.

Buffy : Thank you. (Buffy pauses looking lost in thought.)

Giles : You all right?

Buffy : Yeah. Uh... I still need to pick up a few things, so I'll check in. And keep your hands off the food.

Giles : Oh, I'll try and restrain myself from eating uncooked potatoes and cranberries.

Buffy leaves and Angel walks out from a room in the back of the apartment.

Giles : So, what do you think?

Angel : She sounds good. Kind of intense about this thanksgiving thing.

Giles : I think perhaps she's a little lonely, but I meant about the murder.

Angel : Whatever killed the woman in the museum, that's probably the danger.

Giles : Yeah, well, this danger, your friend has some ominous vision about Buffy. It's all terribly vague. I mean, there are other things happening on this campus.

Angel : Well, maybe I'm wrong, but I gotta try something. I can't just keep watching.

Gilse : I'm glad that you're watching out for her, but I feel I should remind you that she's not helpless and it's not your job to keep her safe.

Angel : It's not yours anymore, either. Are you going to walk away?

Giles : All right. But I feel we should tell her. I don't like keeping this secret.

Angel : No. If she knew I was here, it was distract her. It could get her hurt. I don't want to get in the way.

Giles : Um, I'm assuming that there's some connection to the old mission. Something is angry about being disturbed.

Angel : Or maybe it was trapped there, and now it's released. Something that has a fondness for ancient weapons. You know father gabriel?

Giles : No.

Angel : He knows the history of this place pretty well. His family dates back to mission times. He might be able to fill in some blanks.

Giles : Ok. Well, I'll see about contacting him. Where are you going?

Angel : To watch her.

Giles : It's not fair. You know that's what she'd say. You can see her, but she can't see you?

Angel : Believe me, I'm not getting the good half of this deal. To be on the outside looking in at what I can't... Well, I'd forgotten how bad it feels.

Cut to Willow and Buffy walking along outside, in the business district.

Willow : But you have whipped cream. I saw it in giles' fridge.

Buffy : But that's whipped cream in a canister. Look, it's only right if you whip it yourself.

Willow : Hey, and then later, we can churn our own butter and make sweaters out of sheep.

Buffy : Ok. It's the last thing. I promise. Besides, I have an appointment with that priest that Giles called about. He thinks he might have some information.

Riley: (Runs up to them.) Buffy? Hey, Buffy.

Buffy : Riley. Where'd you come from? I didn't see you at all.

Riley : Oh, just across the street... And a couple of blocks down. Hey, willow.

Willow : Hi. Well, I'm just gonna let you two... Look, they're selling coffee in the coffee shop. Yum. (She runs into the coffee shop and into Angel. He grabs her and covers her mouth with his hand. She's trying to talk through it and it comes out garbled.) Oh! Angel-- evil! You're all evil again.

Angel : I'm not evil. I'm here to help Buffy. (He removes his hand and lets her go.)

Willow : What's going on?

Angel : My friend had a vision. Buffy's in danger.

Willow : So tell her. Help her.

Angel : If she sees me, it'll be worse.

Willow : See, I don't get that, all this "leaving for her own good" garbage. Because that's what it is. You can't just give up because there's obstacles. What kind--

Angel : (Interupting her tirade.) Willow.

Willow : Sorry. My stuff.

Angel : You know how I feel about her. If there was any way...

Willow : Yeah. I know.

Angel : It's just...Everything's different now.

Willow : Hey, is cordelia really working for you? 'Cause that's gotta be a special experience. Of all the people you could've hired.

Angel : Willow, I'm here to protect Buffy. I don't have a whole lot of time for personal stuff.

Willow : Right. Well, how can I help?

Angel : Well, if you can just tell me... (Looking out the window. He sees Buffy and Riley chatting.) Who's that guy?

Cut to outside where Buffy and Riley are talking.

Buffy : It'll be just like it was when I was a kid. Only without me building a fort out of my mashed potatoes.

Riley : Sounds like fun.

Buffy : It will be. Um, you know, if you don't already have plans... You should come. I'm a great cook... In theory. I've eaten a lot.

Riley : That sounds so great, but I'm outta here tonight. I caught a last-minute flight back to Iowa.

Buffy : Iowa. That's one of the ones in the middle, right?

Riley : My folks are there. We always do thanksgiving at my grandparents' house. A little farm outside Huxley.

Buffy : Sounds nice.

Riley : It is. After dinner, we all go for a walk down by the river with the dogs. There's trees and... And I know what you're thinking. It's like I grew up in a grant wood painting.

Buffy : Exactly. If I knew who that was.

Riley : Just a guy who painted stuff that looked like where I grew up.

Buffy : Well, have fun at the homestead.

Riley : Always do. What's the line? Home's the place that, when you have to go there...

Buffy : They have to take you in.

Cut to Harmony's crypt. She's advancing towards Spike yelling at him.

Harmony : Get out.

Spike : (Leaning against a wall.) But, baby, this is where I belong.

Harmony : (Pointing.) Out. I mean it. I've been doing a lot of reading, and I'm in control of my own power now, so we're through.

She backs up as Spike advances towards her. He grabs her abruptly. He begins to kiss her shoulder. She looks uncertain.

Spike : You don't mean that.

Harmony : Yes, I do. I...I do. (Spike picks her up and carrys her over to the bed.) I mean it a lot.

Spike : See? I knew you'd end up welcoming be back (He begins to stroke her legs.) With open...Arms. (He leans into kiss her.)

Harmony : No. (She pushes him away.) I'm powerful, and I'm beautiful, and I don't need you to complete me. (She goes around the bed and lifts the matress revealing a stake which she grabs.) And you're mean. (She stands up holding the stake up.)

Spike : (Backpedeling, then falling off the bed.) You had that in our bed? Do you know how dangerous that is?

Harmony : (Advancing on him.) Let's find out.

Spiek : You wouldn't do it. (Backing up as she walks towards him still wielding the stake.)

Harmony : You did it to me, remember?

Spike : All right. All right, I'll go. Just-- (He falls.)

Harmony : What?

Spike : Can I have someone to eat?

She goes to stake him and he runs off. Cut to the outside of a church. Inside we see Buffy walking around.

Buffy : Father gabriel? Father gabriel? (She goes through a set of double doors.) Father? Are you out here? (She sees the indian in the middle of slicing the throat of the priest he's hung.) God.

Buffy runs the rest of the way to the indian and punches him in the stomach. She then redirects him a few feet away. He gets up to a defensive crouch, in a fighting stance.

Indian : You can't stop me.

Buffy : You're very wrong about that.

He rushes her again, but she sidesteps him and redirects him forward, which makes him slam his head into a conviently low hung bell. He lands a few feet back, gets up and tries to slice Buffy with his knife. She dodges back again. He tries to punch her and she dodges, making him hit an ornemental stand.

Hus : Yaugh! (They fall and he is on top of her, wielding a knife.) I am vengeance. I am my people's cry. They call for hus, for the avenging spirit to carve out justice.

Buffy : They tell you to start an ear collection? (She kicks high, which throws him off. She rolls over, punching him, then slams his knife arm into a tree but he doesn't let go. He punches her, but she kicks the legs out from under him. She grabs him and he's stuck holding his knife to his throat.)

Hus : You slaughtered my people. Now you kill their spirit. This is a great day for you.

She shoves him away and he gets up. Then he turns into a group of bats and they fly off.

Cut to Buffy and Giles in his kitchen again. They're back to getting dinner ready. Buffy's checking the settings on the stove and Giles peeling vegetables in the sink.

Giles : It's clear we're dealing with a spirit of some kind. It's very common for indian spirits to change to animal form.

Buffy : It's plenty uncommon for me to freeze up during a fight. I mean, I had the guy, I was ready for the take-down, and I stopped. And native american.

Giles : Sorry?

Buffy : We don't say "indian."

Giles : Oh, right. Yes, yes. Um, always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot as "bloody colonials."

Buffy : And the thing is, I like my evil like I like my men-- evil. You know, "straight up, black hat, "Tied to the train tracks, soon my electro-ray will destroy metropolis" bad. Not all mixed up with guilt and the destruction of an indigenous culture.

Giles : This spirit warrior-- hus, you called him-- Has killed innocent people.

Buffy : Ok. You know what? We need to boil those and put them through the ricer.

Giles : I don't think I have a ricer.

Buffy : You don't have a ricer? What do you mean? How could someone not have a ricer?

Giles : Well, do you have one at home?

Buffy : I don't know. What's a ricer?

Giles : We'll mash them with forks, much like the pilgrims must have. Did you catch the part about the innocent people?

Buffy : Yes. Ok? And I do want to stop him. I'd just like to find a non-slayee way to do it.

There's a knock at the door. Buffy opens it and we see Willow standing with a huge pile of books.

Buffy : Hey.

Willow : Hey.

Buffy : Peas?

Willow : Peas.

Buffy takes the small box of peas leaving Willow to struggle with a mound of books.

Buffy : These are frozen.

Giles : What's all that?

Willow : Atrocities. I got the full poop on the chumash indians and our fabulous buried mission.

Buffy : You said you were going to get fresh ones.

Willow : Atrocities?

Buffy : Peas. They come in little pods. You were going to shell them.

Willow : I didn't have time. I was busy reading about the chumash war.

Giles : The chumash were peaceful.

Willow : Oh, they were peaceful, all right. They were fluffy indigenous kittens, till we came along.

Buffy : They're gonna be mushy.

Willow : They won't be mushy.

Giles : I like mushy peas.

Buffy : You're the reason we had to have pilgrims in the first place. So what happened to the chumash?

Willow : How about imprisonment, forced labor, herded like animals into a mission full of bad european diseases.

Buffy : Boy. Cultural partnership center really didn't stress any of that stuff.

Willow : Not even a diorama. And it gets better. The few chumash who tried to rebel were hanged. And when a group was accused of stealing cattle, they were killed-- Men, women, and children. And for proof to bring back to their accusers...

Giles : They cut off their ears?

Buffy : So hus wasn't kidding about the rightful vengeance routine.

Giles : He's recreating all the wrongs done to his people. And it's up to us to stop him.

Buffy : Yes, but after dinner, right?

Willow : Are you sure we shouldn't be helping him?

Giles : No, I think perhaps we won't help the angry spirit with his rape and pillage and murder.

Willow : Well, ok, no, but we should be helping him redress his wrongs. Bring the atrocities to light.

Giles : If the history books are full of them, I'd say they already are.

Willow : Giving his land back.

Giles : It's not exactly ours to give.

Willow : I don't think you wanna help. I think you just wanna slay the demon, then go-- La la la

Giles : And I think your sympathy for his plight has blinded you to certain urgent facts. We have to stop this thing.

Willow : Ok, unfeeling guy.

Giles : Willow, that's not fair.

Buffy : (Running to the kitchen.) I have to baste.

Giles : Willow, I-- (in hushed tones)I have reason to believe buffy herself may be in particular danger from this menace.

Willow : You mean... Angel? I saw him, too.

Giles : That's not terribly stealthy of him.

Willow : I think he's lost his edge.

Giles : But buffy doesn't know.

Willow : Oh, no, not a peep.

Giles : Well, that's good, but this is why I think we should all keep a level head in this.

Willow : And I happen to think mine is the level head, and yours is the one things would roll off of.

There is another knock at the door. Giles opens it and Anya and Xander are there.

Xander : Happy thanksgiving.

Giles : Xander. You look like death.

Willow : Are you ok?

Buffy : You didn't bring rolls?

Xander and Anya walk in. Xander lays on the couch and Anya tends to them.

Xander : The doctor couldn't figure out was up with me. He said I had a lot of symptoms that didn't connect.

Buffy : I think they do connect.

Xander : What, to this chumash spirit vengeance guy?

Buffy : Didn't you say the chumash got all diseased when they were all holed up in the mission?

Willow : Yeah. This has a better account of everything. It lists the various--

Xander : Various? As in...

Willow : Well, the important thing is not to panic.

Xander : You just recited the mystical panic-causing incantation, so little hope there. Let's talk about the various.

Willow : Well, they did suffer from malaria, some smallpox--

Anya : I was gonna say smallpox.

Willow : (Softly mumbly) You know, syphilis, but basically--

Xander : (In shock.) Syphilis?

Willow : Well, but this is probably mystical, and it'll all go away as soon as--

Xander : As soon as what?

Willow : We still don't know what we're gonna do. Well, maybe I can find something. Let's give him some land.

Giles : I'm sure that'll clear everything right up.

Willow : Sarcasm accomplishes nothing, giles.

Giles : It's sort of an end in itself.

Xander : Can we come rocketing back to the part about me and my new syphilis?

Anya : (Stroking his forehead.) It'll make you blind and insane, but it won't kill you. The smallpox will.

Willow : Maybe there's a wiccan spell that can cure it. Something regular medicine doesn't know. Ooh, there was a potion. (She looks through a book and pulls out a piece of paper and begins reading.) Sage, salt...Onion?

Buffy : That's the stuffing.

Xander : Oh, god.

Anya : Uh, you're gonna get vesicles and pustules. They have pictures. (Tries to show him the book.)

Xander : I hate this guy.

Willow : He's just doing what was done to him.

Xander : I didn't give him syphilis.

Giles : No, but you freed his spirit, and after a century of unrest, he saw you as one of his oppressors.

Xander : What, so he rises up and infects the first guy he sees? That's no fair.

Willow : Like you've never woken up cranky?

Giles : But why the others? Why them particularly?

Xander : So we take this guy out. Buffy, it is for to be slaying sometime soon, yeah?

Buffy : (Looking up from her stirring.) That's sort of the question before the court.

Xander : Question?

Willow : There are 2 sides to it.

Xander : Slaying him? The representative from syphilis votes yea.

Willow : It's not that simple.

Xander : He's a vengeance demon. You don't talk to vengeance demons. You kill them.

Anya : (Drawing back.) I didn't know you felt that way.

Xander : (Totally confused.) What?

Willow : Anyway, he's a spirit, not a demon.

Giles : Yes, and we've never faced this sort of spirit before. We really don't know what will kill it.

Willow : Again with the killing.

Giles : Figuratively speaking. Or bind it or whatever. Yes, willow, we all appreciate your perspective.

Anya : Sometimes vengeance is justified.

Xander : You know that I didn't mean you.

Willow : I don't think anyone appreciates the truth of the situation.

Giles : Oh, I think we do.

Buffy : (Getting up abruptly holding the bowl.) This is no good! It needs more condensed milk. (She flees into the kitchen.)

Giles : Buffy, xander's in real danger. Are you sure the solution is pie?

Buffy : (Adding more condensed milk.) Over bickering and confusion, I'll take pie. We will find a solution. And we will have a nice dinner, ok? Both. End of story. I'm having thanksgiving, and it'll be perfect.

Giles : Hus won't stop. Vengeance is never sated, buffy. Hatred is a cycle. All he will do is kill.

There's a knock at the door. Buffy goes to answer it and Spike is standing there, cowering below a blanket. Smoke rises as he's being seared by the indirect sun.

Spike : Help me. (Buffy shoves him back and he goes tumbling.) Ohh! What part of help me do you not understand?

Buffy : The part where I help you.

Spike : Come on, I'm parboiling out here.

Buffy : (Giles hands her a stake.) Want me to help make it quicker?

Spike : Invite me in.

Giles : No. It's fairly unlikely.

Spike : Oh, damn it! look, I'm safe. I can't bite anyone. Willow, tell' em what I did.

Willow : You said you were gonna kill me, then buffy.

Spike : Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part where I couldn't bite you.

Willow : It's true. He had trouble perfoing.

Spike : Yeah, well, it looks like they've done me for good. Um...

Buffy : What are you saying?

Spike : I'm saying that spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore. I can't bite anything. I can't even hit people.

Buffy : So you haven't murdered anybody lately? Let's be best pals.

Spike : I've got information. About the soldier boys you were fighting. Got the inside scoop. Come on, what have you got to be afraid of?

Cut to Hus performing a ritual to summon other spirits.

Hus : First people who dwell in mishupashup, hear me and descend. Walk with me upon itiashup again. Hear me also, nunashush. Spirits from below... Creatures of the night... Take human form and join the battle. Bring me my revenge.

We see a cloud of green smoke which turns into a dozen warriors.

Cut to Spike sitting in a chair, being bound by rope by Buffy.

Spike : G Grrr. Bloody hell, woman. You're cuttin' off my circulation.

Buffy : You don't have any circulation.

Spike : Well, it pinches.

Buffy : Get used to it. I have more important things to worry about.

Spike : I came to you in friendship. (Buffy gives him a look.) Well, all right, seething hatred, but I've got useful information, and I feel I'm being mistreated.

Buffy : So tell me everything you know.

Spike : I'm too hungry to remember everything.

Buffy : Then sit.

Anya : (At the stove stirring a pot.) Uh, how much butter goes in with these?

Buffy : About half a stick and a quarter cup of brandy. (To Giles.) You do have brandy, don't you?

Giles : What? Oh, yes. Um, on the bookcase.

Spike : I wouldn't say no to a brandy.

Buffy : What's wrong?

Giles : The victims. Apart from xander, Hus has targeted authority figures. Father gabriel, the curator of the cultural center. Who else fits this pattern?

Buffy : Just a small brandy.

Buffy : The dean. Dean guerrero. He's the king of us, And he was at the ceremony.

Giles : Likely candidate. We should warn him.

Buffy : Will, anything in those books about how to stop a native american spirit guy? Some nice, non-judgmental way to, you know, kill him?

Willow : I'm not gonna help you kill him. I'm not on board.

Buffy : What choice do we have?

Willow : Buffy, this isn't a western. We're not at fort...Giles with the cavalry coming to save us. It's one lonely guy. Oppressed warrior guy who's just trying to...

Buffy : Kill a lot of people?

Willow : I didn't say he was right.

Buffy : Will, you know how bad I feel about this. It's eating me up-- (To Anya.) 1/4 Cup of brandy and let it simmer-- (To Willow.) But even though it's hard, we have to end this. Yes, he's been wronged, And I personally would be ready to apologize--

Spike : Oh, someone put a stake in me.

Xander : You got a lot of volunteers in here.

Spike : I just can't take all this mamby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody indians.

Buffy : Uh, the preferred term--

Spike : You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what caesar did, and he's not going around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it." The history of the world isn't people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story.

Buffy : Well, I think the spaniards actually did a lot of-- Not that I don't like spaniards.

Spike : Listen to you. How you gonna fight anyone with that attitude?

Willow : We don't wanna fight anyone.

Buffy : I just wanna have thanksgiving.

Spike : Heh heh. Yeah...Good luck.

Willow : If we could talk to him--

Spike : You exterminated his race. What could you possibly say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick.

Xander : Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but... Some of that made sense.

Giles : I made these points earlier, but fine, no one listens to me.

Buffy : Fine, ok? But someone still has to go warn the dean.

Willow : I'll go. I need the air.

Buffy : Not alone.

Anya : I'll go.

Xander : Me, too.

Buffy : Sure you're up to it?

Spike : Oh, leave that one. He looks like he's ready to drop any minute, and I think I can eat someone if he's already dead.

Xander : (Getting up.) I'm up to it.

Giles : I'll keep on looking for a solution.

Buffy : Yeah. Guys, the dean's house is up past the gym. And hurry. Dinner's in an hour!

Spike : Hey, when do I get fed?

Buffy : Later. I hope the others are ok.

Spike : You know what happens to vampires who don't get to feed?

Buffy : I always wondered that. Giles, plates.

Spike : Living skeletons, mate. Like famine pictures from those dusty countries, only not half as funny.

Buffy : You can have gravy. That has blood in it, right?

Spike : Do you know what else has blood in it? Blood.

Buffy : Do I have to gag you? Because I am not gonna listen to you whine all the way through my dinner. It's gonna be a nice, quiet, civilized--

Suddenly an arrow pierces the decrotive scarecrow on the table. We see Hus in the window with a bow and arrow.

Buffy : You. Listen, maybe I wasn't clear before about how terrible we all feel. 'Cause we're trying to help.

Spike : What's going on?!

Giles : It isn't working.

Buffy : Uh, you can have casinos now.

Giles : Get down!

Giles and Buffy crouch behind the table as arrows rain through the window.

Spike : What about me? You gonna leave me here like this? (An arrow hits him a few inches to the right of his heart.) Hey! Watch the heart!

Willow, Anya and Xander are leaving the deans house.

Anya : Well, that was a waste of time.

Xander : I think he thought we were crazy.

Willow : Maybe if anya hadn't opened the conversation with, "Everybody got both ears?"

Anya : I liked his wife. She gave me pie.

Willow : So what do we do now?

Xander : We could stay here and stand watch, or I just don't--

Angel : (Appearing before them. ) Willow.

Xander : Angel?

Anya : So this is angel. He's large and glowery, isn't he?

Xander : He's evil again.

Angel : I'm not evil again. Why does everyone think that?

Willow : Angel's here to protect buffy.

Angel : I haven't been evil for a long time.

Willow : She's not supposed to know he's here. Angel, do you have something new?

Angel : Yeah. All the chumash weapons are missing from the cultural center. Something's up. Where's buffy?

Willow : Still at giles'. She sent us to check on dean guerrero.

Angel : Why the dean?

Willow : We think he's going after someone in charge. A leader?

Angel : He's a warrior. To a warrior, the leader means the strongest fighter.

Willow : Buffy.

Angel : He's formed a raiding party.

Willow : We gotta get over there.

Angel : I'll call her. You get back fast.

He crouches down and snaps the chain lock on a bicycle.

The phone rings at Giles. He picks it up.

Giles : H-hello? Yes. ... Yes, w-w-we're well aware of that. ... We-we're under siege now, actually. ... Thank you.

Buffy : Who was that?

Giles : A...Someone. Uh, we need a plan.

Buffy : Yes, let's talk about it some more. Where's your weapons chest?

Giles : Over there. (He indicates the chest across the room.)

Buffy sidles over to the chest after a moments pause, but is shot in the arm by an arrow.

Buffy : Ohh!

Giles : Buffy!

Spike : (Riddled with arrows.) Remember that conquering nation thing? Forget it. Apologize.

Buffy : Shut up, spike.

Spike : Fine, I'll do it myself. Hey, sorry. Sorry about that, chief.

Buffy : How many?

Giles : Uh, the leader upstairs. 2 By the living room windows. Uh, one through the window by the door.

Buffy : It's too many. We need help.

Spike : Ok, one... 2... 3. Ow! Bloody hell! Ohh!

Buffy : Giles, these guys-- they don't die.

Giles : (Wrestling with an Indian who has him by the neck.) Bit busy over here.

Spike : (Falling and carrying the chair with him.) Hey!

Willow : (Standing with Anya continuing to beat the Indian with a shovel.) Why...Don't...You...Die?!

Angel runs up, grabs the Indian and snaps his neck with a deft twist.

Anya : What's he like when he is evil?

Angel is grabbed from behind by the neck and struggles.

Angel : Help the others!

Buffy fighting with Hus slices him with his knife. This leaves a cut.

Buffy : Your knife can kill you.

Hus turns into a large bear.

Buffy : A bear!

Spike : You made a bear!

Buffy : I didn't mean to.

Spike : Undo it! Undo it!

Xander : Hey, gentle ben, over here. (He starts throwing food at him.)That's for giving me syphilis.

Buffy stabs the bear in the back as he's distracted by Xander.

Spike : What happened? Did we win?

Everyone is gathered around the table eating.

Willow : I feel lousy.

Giles : Turkey came out rather splendidly.

Buffy : Oh, it was yummy.

Willow : It's just...Did you see me? 2 Seconds of conflict with an indigenous person, and I turned into general custer.

Giles : Violence does that. Instinct takes over.

Spike : Yeah, that's the fun.

Buffy : Nobody asked you.

Spike : Oh, lay off. You all had a fine meal.

Willow : But me...An entire siege.

Spike : You'd think one of you would bleed a little.

Giles : Good work, buffy... On both counts.

Buffy : Thanks.

Giles : Well, you know, you should be very pleased.

Buffy : Wasn't exactly a perfect thanksgiving.

Willow : I don't know. Seemed kinda right to me. A bunch of anticipation, a big fight, and now we're all sleepy. And we did all survive.

Buffy : I guess that much is true.

Buffy : First thanksgiving on my own, and we all got through it.

Xander : (Patting Anya on the shoulder.) And you know what? I think my syphilis is clearing right up.

Buffy : And they say romance is dead. Or maybe they just wish it.

Willow : Well, maybe we started a new tradition this year. (She gets a look from everyone.) Maybe not. But at least we all worked together. It was like old times.

Xander : Yeah, especially with angel being here and everything.

Everyone looks at Buffy.