Last updated on January 28th 2000
Previously on Buffy:
Buffy: “Parker, did I do something wrong?”
Parker: “Didn’t you have fun?”
Buffy: “Is that all it was?”
Parker: “What else was it supposed to be?”
Buffy: “He’s manipulative and shallow, and why doesn’t he want
me?”
Willow: “I think you’re missing something about the whole poop-head
principle.”
Xander: “Hi again.”
Anya drops her dress and Xander squeezes the juice box.
Xander and Anya getting dressed.
Xander(voice over): “So, college not so scary after all, huh?”
Three masked commando guys with weapons drawn walking up to a vamp
laying on the ground.
Buffy (voice over): “It’s turning out a lot like high school,
which I can handle.”
Xander in his basement with a knife in his hand.
Xander: “I don’t know, I was going for ferocious, scary, but
it’s coming out more dryly sardonic.”
Willow: “It does appear to be mocking you with its eye holes.”
Oz: “The nose hole seems sad and full of self-loathing.”
Xander turns the jack-o-lantern around to show to Buffy who’s laying
on his bed: “What do you think, Buff?”
Buffy: “I was just thinking about the life of a pumpkin.
Grow up in the sun - happily entwined with others, then someone comes along,
cuts you open and - rips your guts out.”
Xander: “Okay, and on that happy note, I’ve got a treat for tomorrow
nights second annual Halloween screening. People - prepare to have
your spines tingled, your gooses bumped by the terrifying (Pulls out a
video and reads the title) Fantasia. Fantasia?”
Oz: “Maybe it’s because of all the - horrific things we’ve seen,
but hippos wearing tutus just don’t unnerve me the way they used to.”
Xander: “Phantasm. It was supposed to be ‘Phantasm”.
Stupid video store!”
Willow: “I thought we were doing the alph delt thing.”
Xander: “What thing?”
Buffy: “The scary house? Sounds kinda lame.”
Oz: “It actually borders on fun. You have to go through
the scary house maze to get to the party. Which is usually worth
getting to. Those guys go all out.”
Willow: “As witnessed last Friday.”
Oz: “Very true.”
Xander: “There is a party?”
Willow: “We didn’t tell you?”
Xander: “No, it’s cool. You guys got your little college
thing. I’m fine. I mean, I got better things to do than tag
along to some Fraternity.”
Willow: “You can come.”
Xander: “Okay. But only because I lied about having better
things to do.”
Oz: “A blast will be had by all.”
Buffy gets up: “I’m gonna get going.”
Xander: “Now? Tonight’s still...(Looks at his watch) okay,
it’s a little mature, but still.”
Buffy: “I’m sleepy. You guys have fun.”
Willow: “You want me to come with?”
Buffy leaves: “No I’m fine.”
Xander shakes his head: “Sad Buffy.”
Willow: “She didn’t even touch her pumpkin. It’s a freak
with no face.”
Oz: “She’s still suffering a little post-Parker depression.”
Xander: “Bailing on the Buff. Does anyone else want to
smack that guy?”
All three raise their hands.
Cut to Buffy walking down the street alone. A demon jumps out
at her screaming and she hits it in the face knocking it down. It
pulls of its mask to reveal a young kid.
Kid: “Jeez, that hurt! What the hell is wrong with you,
lady?”
Gets up and walks away.
Buffy: “That’s what I’d like to know.”
Intro.
Cut to UC of Sunnydale. Willow and Buffy are walking into the
cafeteria.
Willow: “I’ve got the basics down – levitation, charms, glamours.
I just feel like I’ve plateaued wicca-wise.”
Buffy: “What’s the next level?”
Willow: “Transmutation, conjuring, bringing forth something from
nothing. Gets pretty close to the primal forces. A little scary.”
Buffy: “Well, no one’s pushing. You know, if it’s too much
don’t do it.”
Willow: “Don’t do it? What kind of encouragement is *that*?”
Buffy: “This is an ‘encouragement’ talk? I thought it was
‘share my pain’.”
Willow: “I don’t know. Then again, what is college for
if not experimenting? You know, maybe I can handle it. I’ll
know when I’ve reached my limit.”
Oz comes up to them: “Wine coolers?”
Buffy: “Magic.”
Oz: “Ooh, you didn’t encourage her, did you?”
Willow: “Where is supportive boyfriend guy?”
Oz: “He’s picking up your dry cleaning, but he told me to tell
you that he’s afraid you’re gonna get hurt.”
Willow with a smile: “Okay, Brutus. (Oz just looks at her)
Brutus – Caesar? (Willow looks form Oz to Buffy) Betrayal –
trusted friend? (Makes stabbing motions with her banana) Back
stabby?”
Oz: “Oh, I’m with you on the reference, but – I won’t lie about
the fact that I worry? I know what it’s like to have power you can’t
control. I mean, every time I start to wold out, I touch something
–deep – dark. It’s not fun. But just know that what ever you
decide, I back your play.”
Buffy: “See? Concerned boy, sweet boy.”
Willow: “I kinda like him - worrying anyway.”
We hear laughter and Buffy looks over to see Parker sitting at a table
laughing with his friends.
Buffy: “You know I, uhm, I forgot – to (puts her food down and
turns to leave) be hungry.”
Willow hands her food to Oz and runs after her: “Wait, Buffy.”
Willow catches her in the hallway: “Buffy. Don’t let jerky
Parker chase you away.”
Buffy: “He didn’t. I just don’t want to deal with this
right now. I’m taking a holiday from dealing, happily vacationing
in the land of not coping.”
Willow: “You know what, you’ll feel better at the party tonight.
Maybe you’ll even meet someone.”
Buffy: “Willow, I don’t want to meet someone. I’ve reached
my quota on someones. Besides, I think I’m gonna have to patrol anyway.”
Willow: “Tonight, but – it’s Halloween!”
Buffy: “I’ll double check with Giles, but I’m sure he’s going
to think I should be on active Slayer duty. He doesn’t care about
Halloween.”
Cut to Giles opening his door dressed up like a Mexican holding a big
bowl of candy.
Giles: “Happy Hallow - Hello, Buffy?”
Buffy stares at him: “Oh – my – God.”
Giles: “It’s a sombrero.”
Buffy: “And it’s on your head.”
Giles: “It seemed festive. Uhm, come in. (Buffy comes in)
Candy?”
Buffy looks around at the decorations: “What’s going on here?
You hate Halloween.”
Giles: “I never said any such a thing. As my Watcher’s
duties took precedence, I simply haven’t taken time to – well, to embrace
its inherent charms – until now. (Turns on a Frankenstein puppet
hanging from the ceiling) Look, look! (Laughs) It’s alive!
(Buffy just stares at him) See – how he shakes? - Is
– is there something you wanted?”
Buffy: “I was thinking that I should patrol tonight. You
know, possibly the cemetery or if you had a better su... (Stares distractedly
at the fringe dangling from the edge of his sombrero) could you please
take that off?”
Giles sets down the bowl of candy: “Oh, yes, of course.
(Takes the hat off) I see, is there some specific danger you were
sensing?”
Buffy: “No. But then you know we were all caught of guard
when Ethan turned everyone into their costumes."
Giles: “True, but what happened then was anomalous. Creatures
of the night shy away form Halloween. They find it all much too crass.”
Buffy: “Hard to believe.”
Giles: “Well, I-I promise you - there is little likelihood of
any supernatural activity tonight. (Holds up the bowl of Candy) You
sure you don’t want one?”
Cut to the Alpha Delta Fraternity house. They are decorating the
haunted house. A guy walks down the hallway and a plastic skeleton
with a knife in its hand swings out in front of him, making him jump.
1.Guy laughs and holds up a bag to the guy standing next to the skeleton:
“I come bearing spiders.”
2.Guy: “The sound system is not going to cut it. Nothing
but lame.”
1.Guy: “You want me to call Oz? He can probably hook us
up.”
2.Guy: “Do it. If we not scare the young women, they will
not fall into our arms. - We’ll have woman-less arms. Halloween isn’t
about thrills, chills and funny costumes, it’s about getting laid.”
1.Guy: “Is there any holiday that’s not about getting laid?”
2.Guy: “Arborday. Call Oz, dude.”
1.Guy: “Done. And oh, you wanted a symbol to paint upstairs,
something mystical? (Holds up a book with a pentagram in it) Check
this out.”
Cut to Xander putting on a jacket in his basement, he turns and there
is Anya standing on the stairs.
Xander: “Anya? You really have to get this knocking thing
down. - How did you...?”
Anya: “You’re uncle Rory let me in. Does he always smell
like peppermint?”
Xander: “The man likes his schnapps. What are you doing
here?”
Anya: “You haven’t called. Not once.”
Xander: “You said you were over me.”
Anya: “And you just accepted that? I only said that because
I thought that’s what you wanted to hear.”
Xander: “That’s the funny thing about me, I tend to hear the
actual words people say and accept them at face value.”
Anya: “That’s stupid.”
Xander: “I accept that. - I can’t say seeing you
falls into the realm of a bad thing.”
Anya smiles: “Really? - I thought - maybe we could
go out tonight, for our anniversary.”
Xander: “Anniversary?”
Anya: “It’s been exactly one week since we copulated. - Did you
forget?”
Xander: “Oh, no, of course not. It’s just I already have
plans with Buffy, Willow and Oz. It’s Halloween, you know.”
Anya: “I don’t understand.”
Xander: “Well, every October 31st, we mortals dress up in masks...”
Anya: “No, no, I understand that inane ritual. It’s those
people. You continue to associate with them though you share little
in common.”
Xander: “What are you talking about?”
Anya: “I mean they go to college, you don’t. They no longer
live at home, - you do.”
Xander: “Oh, hey, those things... The bonds of true friendship
transcends... Could we just change the subject?”
Anya: “Okay, okay. Don’t get upset with me. I just
wondered.”
Xander: “If you want you can come with me tonight to this party.”
Anya: “You mean like a date? - Is that what this is? (Xander
swallows) Are we dating?”
Xander: “There are definitely date-like qualities at work here.
– Oh, you’ll need a costume.”
Anya: “A costume?”
Xander: “Dress up, you know, something - scary.”
Anya: “Scary. Scary how?”
Xander: “Anya, you ex-demon, terrorized mankind for centuries.
I’m sure you’ll come up with something.”
Cut to Psyche-lecture room at UCS. Buffy walks up to Prof. Walsh
and Riley as they get ready to leave.
Buffy: “Excuse me, Professor Walsh? I came to get today’s
assignments. I, uh, couldn’t make it to class for personal reasons.”
Walsh: “Right. I count four limbs, a head no visible scarring,
so I assume your personal issue wasn’t a life threatening accident of any
kind, I’m therefore uninterested. You got problems, solve them on
your own time. Miss another class and you’re out.”
Prof. Walsh walks past Buffy.
Riley: “She means it, you know.”
Buffy: “Yeah. I got the impression she wasn’t saying it
to make me laugh.”
Riley: “You’ve got to be aware your work’s taken a little down
turn lately. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen your hand up.”
Buffy: “Does stretching count?”
Riley: “Look, things get pretty intense Freshmen year, - as I
dimly recall. Too much fun or not enough?”
Buffy after a beat: “Both actually.”
Riley hands her the assignments: “Yeah, well, you just got to
keep your priorities. Prof. Walsh is worth your time.”
Buffy: “Thanks, I’ll get this done tonight.”
Riley: “Tonight. It’s Halloween! What, your not going
to dress up and go party?”
Buffy: “I have a lot of work to do.”
Riley: “I may be out of line here, and it’s not really my business,
but - you seem like the kind of person that makes things really hard on
themselves. Halloween isn’t a night for responsibility. It’s
when the ghosts and goblins come out.”
Buffy: “That’s actually a misnomer.”
Riley: “Well, I didn’t mean real ones. (Buffy smiles and
looks down) But, hey, there is some good scary fun to be had on campus
tonight.”
Buffy: “Yeah? What are you doing?”
Riley: “Well, I’m going to sit here and grade papers.”
Buffy turns to go: “Scary.”
Riley: “Very.”
Buffy: “Well, thanks for the pep talk, coach.”
Riley: “Don’t make fun. I worked long and hard to get this
pompous.”
Buffy: “No, I mean it.”
Riley after a beat: “You’re welcome.”
Buffy smiles and walks out while Riley looks after her.
Cut to the Alpha Delta Fraternity house. A guy is painting the
symbol from the book onto the floor. Oz and Xander carry in a speaker.
3.Guy: “Okay, watch your step, boys. Paint’s still wet
in a few spots.”
2.Guy: “Thanks for the loan, man. Our sound system sucks.”
Oz: “Mi casio es su casio.”
Xander points at the pentagram: “Well, that’s an interesting
little design. What does it mean?”
3.Guy: “No - clue. I got it out of this book. There
is a lot of really cool stuff about...”
Xander spots a bowl on a table: “Ooh, grapes! (Picks up a grape)
Wow, peeled. You guys know how to spoil your guests.”
2.Guy: “Eyeballs, man. Blindfold chicks and have them stick
their hands in the bowl and tell them it’s eyeballs. They love that.”
Xander: “And here I was wasting time buying them flowers and
complimenting them on their shoes. So, you go through the whole house
of horrors downstairs and it ends up here. Sweet. You fratly
guys have a nice setup.”
2.Guy: “Hey, mighty, mighty Alpha Delts. You should think
about pledging.”
Oz: “Oh, Xander is a civilian.”
2.Guy: “Ah! Townie, huh? Didn’t know. He looked
so normal. You sure we should let him come to the party, Oz?”
Xander: “Hey, standing right here.”
Scary sound effects start to play loudly. Oz looks at the speakers
unhappily.
2.Guy: “Cranking.”
Xander looks at Oz: “You’re sensing a disturbance in the force,
master?”
Oz pulls out a folding pocketknife: “Ah, the left speaker is
crackling a little bit.”
Xander: “And you feel stabbing it is the proper solution?”
Oz: “I’m just going to trim the wire. It might be a short.”
Xander nods and turns away.
Oz straightens up: “Ah!”
Xander: “Oz?”
Oz: “Cut myself. It’s okay.”
He walks over shaking his hand. Some blood drops on the symbol
on the floor.
Xander: “Playing with knives, fun, yes, but not safe. And
when you bleed to death I’ve got dibs on your equipment.”
A ripple runs over the symbol, but no one notices one of the plastic
spiders at its edge coming alive and crawling away.
Cut to Joyce altering a red cape on her sewing machine.
Buffy: “Thanks again for doing this at the last minute.”
Joyce: “I’m just glad I could find it. There. Try it now.
I let down the hem and loosened it a little around the hood.”
Buffy puts it on: “Oh, it feels better. (Joyce smiles at
her) Oh, no. Someone is getting nostalgic face.”
Joyce: “I’m sorry. I’m thinking about the little girl who
wore that. What is it? Five? Six years ago.”
Buffy: “Yeah, little red riding hood was the cutting edge in
costumes.”
Joyce laughs: “Your father *loved* to take you out.”
Buffy: “He was such a pain! 12 years old and I can’t go
trick-or-treating by myself?”
Joyce: “He just wanted to keep you safe.”
Buffy: “No, he wanted the candy. I was just the beard.”
Joyce: “Oh, that’s not true actually. The candy was for
me. - Your father loved spending time with you.”
Buffy looks down: “Not enough, I guess.”
Joyce: “Buffy.”
Buffy: “Oh, that just paved right over memory lane, huh?”
Joyce: “Our divorce had nothing to do with you.”
Buffy swallows: “I don’t know. – I’m starting to feel like there
is a pattern here. – Open your heart to someone, and he bails on you.
Maybe it’s easier to just not let anyone in.”
Joyce gets up: “I thought it might be easier. You must
have noticed that I am not exactly the social butterfly I was when I was
with your dad. I don’t think I made a single new friend the year
we moved to Sunnydale.”
Buffy: “Why not?”
Joyce: “Fear. I didn’t believe I could trust anyone again.
It’s taken time and a lot of effort, but I’ve got a nice circle of friends
now. - I mean, don’t get me wrong. I – I’m still a little
gun shy. It certainly didn’t help that my last boyfriend turned out
to be a homicidal robot. (Sits down next to Buffy) I will *always*
be here for you. And you got Mr. Giles and your friends. (Buffy
looks at her) Believe me, there is nothing to be afraid of.”
Cut to students in costumes toilet papering some trees.
Cut to Willow in Joan of Arc costume.
Willow on the phone: “No, I just meet you at your place. – Yeah,
Buffy said she was coming but I haven’t seen her. We have to make
sure she has fun. We have to force fun upon her. And if Parker
shows up we just - ax-murder him. That’s halloweeny! Okay,
I’ll see you in a little bit.”
Willow hangs up the phone and goes into the hallway. It’s full
of college kids in costumes. Tall black guy in drag wearing a blond
wig comes up to her: “Willow, you’ve got to stop by the room.”
Willow: “I’m late for a battle or I would. I love your
outfit though.”
Willow walks by a red lobster talking to a girl dressed like a present.
Lobster: “There is nothing going on here.”
Present: “I saw you flirting with her!”
Lobster: “Do we have to do this every time? I love you,
you know that!”
Cut to the haunted house. It’s in full swing.
2.Guy leads a blindfolded girl to the bowl of peeled grapes:
“Okay, Rach, what’s in the next one?”
Rachel: “You guys are sick!”
2.Guy: “Here, give me your hand.”
Rachel with her hand in the bowl: “This is gross.”
2.Guy: “Eyeballs, Rachel, they’re eyeballs! Muahaha!”
Rachel giggles takes her blindfold of and looks at what she’s picked
up out of the bowl. She is holding eyeballs. Screams.
Cut to Buffy, dressed like little red riding hood, is standing with
a basket in her hands. Xander walks up behind her wearing a tux.
Xander: “Hey, Red. What you got in the basket, little girl?”
Buffy: “Weapons.’
Xander: “Oh.”
Buffy: “Just in case. Like the tux, Xander.”
Xander: “Bond. James Bond. Insurance, you know, in
case we get turned into our costumes again. I’m going for cool, secret
agent guy.”
Buffy: “I hate to break it to you, but you’ll probably end up
cool head waiter guy.”
Xander: “As long as I’m cool and wield some kind of power.”
They meet up with Willow and Oz.
Buffy: “Will. Medieval Will.”
Xander: “Hail, ye olde – vareletty – thou.”
Willow: “I’m Joan of Arc. I figured we had a lot in common,
seeing as how - I was almost burned at the stake, and plus she had - that
close relationship with God.”
Xander to Oz: “And you are?”
Oz pulls his jacket open to reveal a nametag with ‘God’ on it.
Xander as they walk on together: “Of course. I wish I’d
thought of that before I put down my deposit. I could have been God.”
Oz: “Blasphemer.”
Two of the commando guys wearing ski masks and carrying guns step out
of the bushes in front of them.
Buffy: “Nice costumes. Very stealthy.”
Willow: “What are they supposed to be?”
Oz: “NATO?”
Xander: “Oh, yeah, I, ah, invited Anya to join us, but she’s
having some trouble finding a scary costume, so she’s just going to meet
us there.”
Buffy: “Perfect, everybody’s got a date but third-wheel Buffy.”
Willow: “You’re not a third wheel.”
Xander: “Technically speaking you’re a fifth wheel.”
Willow pushes him aside impatiently and puts an arm around Buffy:
“We’re going to have the best time.”
Cut to the inside of the haunted house. All the kids are running
around, screaming. There are strobe lights going, given everything
a creepy look. A voice rumbles: “Release me!”
Cut to Buffy and Co. walking up to the house.
Cut to the kids running and screaming.
Cut to Willow and Oz smiling and holding hands as they walk up to the
door.
Oz turns around in front of the door: “Let the horrors begin.”
Cut to 2.Guy running down a corridor: “God, help me!”
He falls down the steps and lands in a lifeless heap at the bottom.
Voice rumbles: “Release me!”
Cut to Buffy and Co. entering the silent haunted house.
Xander: “The joint’s not jumping. Where is everybody?”
Mechanical laughter comes from a head with one eye hanging from its
socket sitting in a punch bowl on a table next to the door.
Oz: “Follow the signs.”
Buffy looks at the severed head: “Terrifying. If I were
Abbott and Costello this would be fairly traumatic.”
Willow walks into a cobweb decorating a doorway and screams:
“Uh, ah! Cobweb! (Pulls it off of her) Okay that part was realistic.”
Oz: “Frat boys aren’t too obsessive with their cleaning.
Might not be decoration per se.”
The plastic skeleton with the knife swings out at Xander and he jumps.
Xander panting: “I wasn’t scared, I was in the spirit.”
Willow: “And we back you up on that. Even if they question
us separately.”
Oz looks back at Willow and notices a real tarantula on her shoulder.
Willow sees what he is looking at and screams: “Uh, get it off!”
Oz brushes at it the checks her over: “It is gone.”
Willow: “Okay, that is not sanitary!”
Buffy: “Yeah, lets get to the party part of the – party.”
Willow to Oz: “Are you sure it’s off?”
Oz as they follow Buffy: “Yeah.”
They walk into a room and Buffy bends down to examine a spot on the
carpet.
Oz: “I thought this led to...”
Xander to Buffy: “What is it?”
Buffy looks at the stain on her fingers: “Blood. (Smells
her fingers) Real blood.”
Xander: “Okay, actual creeps have been given. (Loudly) Bravo,
frat boys!”
Buffy stands up: “Shh! Do you hear something? Like
a - squeaking noise?”
Xander: “Oh, it’s these rented shoes, patent leather. I
asked the guy to...”
Willow: “No, no, I – wait. It’s something else. I
hear it, too. Something like...”
They all slowly look up at the ceiling. It’s covered with real
bats. All of them scream and cover their heads as the bats suddenly
drop down and fly off down the hall. Oz walks over and picks up a
bat that is laying on the floor.
Willow: “No, Oz, don’t it might be...”
Oz: “Rubber. It’s made of rubber.”
Buffy looks around: “What the hell is going on here?”
Xander: “Look, maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it’s just a neat
trick. You know, something done with wires or...”
Rumbling voice: “Release me!”
Xander: “Or it might be something else.”
Cut to Anya walking up to the house wearing a furry, white bunny suit.
There is a welcome mat laying in front of a solid wall.
Anya: “Where is the door? (Knocks on the wall) Hey!
Hello!”
She sighs and walks back out to the street. She hears a scream
coming from the house and looks up to see a girl banging against one of
the upper story windows.
Girl: “Help me! Help me!”
The stones surrounding the window suddenly expand to cover it up.
Anya turns to go: “Xander!”
Cut to Buffy and Co. walking back into the entrance room. You
can hear all kinds of screams and creepy sound effects.
Xander: “Where is the stairs?”
Willow: “Where is the door?”
Buffy: “This is the way we came in, right? We just went
in a circle? (The sound effects cut off as Oz flips a switch) Thank
the lord!”
Oz: “You’re welcome.”
Willow: “Hey, I have a neat idea: lets get out of here!”
Buffy: “And you were so anxious for me to come.”
Willow: “I’m serious, Buffy. We don’t know what we’re dealing
with.”
Xander: “My turn. Does anyone hear that?”
Buffy: “As soon as we start dealing with it I’ll know what it
is we’re dealing with. Do you hear something?”
Xander: “Like I said. Sounds like a hissing.”
Buffy puts down her basket: “It’s like a ‘ssss’ noise?”
Xander: “I thought the word hissing kind of covered that nicely.”
Buffy pulls open the door to a closet. There is a guy in there
rocking back and forth.
Chaz: “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
Oz crouches down in front of him: “Chaz.”
Chaz: “I didn’t know.”
Oz: “What’s happening?”
Chaz rocking harder: “It ah...”
Buffy impatiently: “What is it?”
Chaz: “It’s alive. It’s alive.”
Cut to the plastic skeleton. Cut to the knife in its hand.
As the camera pans back up the bones are suddenly real. There is
an eyeball in one of its sockets. It straightens its head and looks
at the camera.
Cut to Buffy: “What’s alive?”
Xander: “He’s in shock.”
Buffy: “Chaz, what happened here?”
Chaz looks up and screams as he sees the skeleton come up and stab
at Buffy’s shoulder from behind. Buffy turns and knocks its head
aside then kicks it in the middle. It lies back to land on the ground,
once again plastic.
Buffy stares at it then checks her shoulder.
Buffy: “I think the cape took most of it.’
Xander: “Let me see.”
Oz: “Could need stitches. You should at least get a bandage
or something.”
We hear a girl scream and Chaz crawls back into the closet and closes
the door.
Oz: “Cowering in a closet is starting to seem like a reasonable
plan.”
Buffy looks back over her shoulder: “What closet? (There
is only a blank wall) I’m gonna make my way upstairs and see if there are
any people up there. (Picks up her basket) You guys find a way out
of the house and use it.”
Willow: “You’re telling us to run away and leave you behind?”
Buffy pulls a loaded crossbow out: “We need help. We need
the only person that can make sense of what’s happening.”
Cut to Giles sitting with his bowl of candy, looking bored. There
is an insistent knock on the door and he gets up.
Giles swallows his candy: “Just a minute! - Coming!
(Opens the door) Happy Hall...”
Anya walks past him: “Xander is in trouble. We’ve got to
do something, right now!”
Giles stares at her with his mouth hanging open: “Anya.”
Anya: “Are you listening? Xander is trapped!”
Giles: “Uh, ah, where is Buffy and the others?”
Anya: “They’re trapped, too, but we’ve got to save Xander!”
Giles takes off his sombrero and sits down: “Slow down.
I need you to be more specific.”
Anya: “Uhm, ah, we were supposed to meet at this house, and I
got there and there was no door where a door should be. And then
I see this girl standing in a window, and then poof! She’s gone.’
Giles: “She vanished from the window?”
Anya: “No, the window vanished from the house.”
Giles: “Hmm. Matter and reality distortion. (Goes and pulls
a book from his shelf) Like a summoning spell’s temporal flux.”
Anya: “What?”
Giles: “Hmm? Oh, never mind. I just need to get some
- supplies together. (Looks over at Anya) I wouldn’t worry
about Xander. At least he’s amongst friends.”
Cut to Buffy: “Will, I’m telling you...”
Willow: “You’re telling me? You’re telling me?!?”
Buffy: “I can’t do my job if I have to worry about each of your
safety.”
Willow: “It’s not your decision!”
Buffy: “Got to disagree with you there.”
Willow: “Oh, of course you do.”
Xander: “Let’s all take a breath. Buffy, maybe...”
Willow: “Being the Slayer doesn’t automatically make you boss.
You’re as lost as the rest of us.”
Oz: “What are we talking about?”
Willow: “It’s a simple incantation, a guiding spell for travelers
when they become lost or disoriented.”
Buffy: “And how does it work?”
Willow: “It conjures an emissary from the beyond that – lights
the way.”
Buffy: “Conjuring. Will, let’s be realistic here.
Okay, your basic spells are usually only fifty-fifty.”
Willow upset: “Oh yeah? Well, - so is your face!”
Willow walks off while Buffy tries to figure out what that meant:
“What?! (Walks after Willow) What does that mean?”
Willow turns around: “I’m not your sidekick!”
Willow stomps out. Oz runs after her. Buffy stands there
and sighs.
Xander: “Well, that was a bunch of laughs. (Buffy walks
past him back to her basket) Look, Buffy, we are all tired and a
*little* edgy. Maybe Willow is over reacting. I’m sure part
of it is because of how you’ve been ‘pushing away’ girl lately. (Buffy
picks up her crossbow, ignoring him totally) But now is not the time
to let that stuff tear us apart. (Buffy turns to go) What I’m
saying is, I’m right with ya. I’m right by your side. I’m...”
Buffy looks around: “Xander?”
Xander: “Funny how you still haven’t lost your sense of inappropriate
humor.”
Buffy turns around looking right through him: “Xander, where
did you go?”
Xander: “Buffy, knock it off. Skit’s over. I’m right here.”
Buffy stomps off down the hall: “This is so *typical* of him!”
Xander: “Typical?”
Buffy down the hall: “Xander?”
Xander follows her after a beat: “Buffy!”
Xander walks into a room lit by candles. The walls are covered
with cobwebs.
Xander: “Buff?”
Pan back down the corridor.
Willow: “She thinks I’m not ready to be a full blown witch!
I can handle the dark forces as good as anyone else. It’s not that
hard. I-It’s just a guiding spell and I’m careful and all.”
Oz looks around the room they just walked into: “This floor used
to have windows.”
Willow: “Look. We found the stairs. (Starts walking
up) Buffy didn’t find the stairs, no sir!”
Oz following Willow up the stairs: “You guys aren’t thinking
clearly.”
He looks down at his hands. They are hairy and his fingernails
look more like claws.
Willow in upstairs corridor: “We just need to get up to the goat
room and maybe we can...”
Oz: “Willow, something is happening.”
Willow turns back to him: “Something good? (Sees that he is turning
into a werewolf) Oh, no – not good.”
Oz: “I’m changing.”
Willow: “But – but you can’t! There is no moon tonight.”
Oz: “I have to get away.”
Willow: “No, we need to find something to restrain you, like
a rope or chains, or something.”
Oz: “There is no time!”
Willow: “I can do the guiding spell. I know I can make
it work!”
Oz: “Will, please.”
Willow tries to grab him: “No!”
Oz bats her hand away with a growl: “NO!”
Willow looks down at the three red scratches on the back of her hand.
Oz turns and runs off.
Willow: “Oz! – Oz, don’t leave me!”
We get several quick shots of different empty parts of the house with
Willows voice echoing: “Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me!”
Cut to Xander walking up to a mirror: “There I am. I didn’t
go anywhere. (He looks at his reflection in the mirror. We
can see a decapitated head with one eyeball hanging from its socket sitting
on a dresser behind him) Great. Now I just have to live with the
fact that no one else can see me.”
The head begins to jiggle, blood runs from its eye sockets. Xander
spins around and stares at it.
Head: “I can see you.”
Xander runs off.
Camera pans down a corridor to reveal Oz sitting in a bathtub repeating over and over: “You’re not going to change. You’re not going to change.”
Camera pans over some old pictures covered with cobwebs, comes up behind Buffy walking down a corridor. She hears a noise and spins around, crossbow at the ready, but there is nothing there.
Cut to Willow sitting at a table: “Okay, Aradia, Goddess of the
lost, the path is murky, the woods are dense, darkness pervades, I beseech
thee, bring the light. (She opens her eyes and smiles as she sees
a tiny speck of light floating in front of her face) Woah!
I did it! I did you. Hi! - Right, you’re waiting
for instructions. Lead me to Oz. (The speck of light starts to float
past her, and Willow gets up) Wait! I should try to find the people
trapped upstairs first. (Willow looks down and doesn’t see that there are
now two then three sparks) But even if I get them we still need to
find a way out of the house. (They spark keep multiplying)
Okay, here is what we should do. (Sees the cloud of sparks)
Hey! What’s going on? (The sparks start to circle her)
Stop! (Willow starts to bat at them as they start to buzz around her like
a cloud of mosquitoes) Stop it! - Get off! - Oz, hel..”
Some of the sparks fly into her mouth and she starts coughing, then
runs off. The sparks chase after her.
Cut to Buffy. She hears Willow yell for help and spins around.
She tries to follow Willow’s voice.
Buffy: “Willow.”
She comes up to a locked door and bust it open. There is no floor
in the room behind it and she falls down into the basement.
We see her laying on the floor on her back, looking up as the door
swings slowly shut.
Buffy: “Basement. - I must be in the basement.”
Hollow voice: “All alone.”
Buffy pushes herself up: “Who said - that?”
The guy that fell down the steps walks around a corner with his head
tilted at an unnatural angle.
Guy: “They all ran away from you. They always will.
Open your heart to someone and (Smiles at her) – But don’t fret,
little girl, you’re not alone (Buffy screams as arms burst up through the
floor to grab at her) anymore.”
Cut to Buffy struggling against the dead people coming up through the floor trying to pull her down.
Cut to Giles and Anya standing in front of the house. Giles is
running a hand over the place where the door used to be, holding an open
book in his other hand.
Anya is bouncing impatiently: “Well?’
Giles: “We’re gonna have to create a door.”
He closes the book and walks over to his bag.
Anya: “Create a door. You can do that?”
Giles gets up with a chainsaw in his hands: “I can.”
Cut to Buffy fighting the dead people.
Broken neck guy: “No matter how hard you fight, you just end
up in the same place. (Buffy crawls along the floor on all fours,
kicking at the guys following her) I don’t see why you bother.”
Buffy reaches a small door, goes through and slams it shut behind her.
She is in the big room with the pentagram on the floor.
Buffy: “I’m upstairs. The goat room.”
She slowly walks into the room. There are college kids in costumes
cowering all along the walls, whimpering.
Buffy looks at a boy cowering in a corner: “Oz?”
Willow comes running into the room waving her arms around: “Get
them off me! Get them off me! (Oz looks at his normal hands
then up at her) Get’em off! Get’em off!”
Oz takes a hold of her: “Willow, Willow, Willow, what’s wrong?”
Willow: “Couldn’t get them off..”
Oz: “It’s okay. It’s okay. (Pulls her into his arms)
We’re okay.”
Buffy shakes her head: “We’re not okay. We need to get
out of here.”
Xander: “I’d offer *my* opinion but you jerks aren’t gonna hear
it anyway. (Buffy walks over to where he is rocking back and forth on the
edge of a chair) Not that ‘didn’t go to college’ boy has anything important
to say. I might as well hang out my new best friend, bleeding dummy
head, for all you dorks care.”
Buffy yells: “What is wrong with you?”
Xander gets up: “You – you heard that? You – you can see
me? (Buffy nods) Good. Oh, God, good!”
Oz: “The house separated us. It wanted to scare us.”
Willow: “But - we got away.”
Buffy: “No. We were brought here. We all got so scared
that we ended up here. – Why?”
Xander points at the pentagram on the floor: “I saw them painting
that. They were copying it out of (Looks around and spots the
open book on a table) that!”
Willow take the book from him: “I think it’s Gaelic.”
Buffy: “Can you translate?”
Rumbling voice: “Release me! (They all look around but
there is nothing there) Release me!”
Buffy: “Will, give me something.”
Willow: “Okay, uhm, uhm, the icon’s called the-the Mark of Gachnar.
I-I think this is a summoning spell for something called..”
Xander: “Gachnar?”
Willow: “Well, yes. Somehow the beginning of the spell
must have been triggered. Uhm, Gachnar is trying to manifest itself,
to-to come into being.”
Buffy: “How?”
Willow: “I-it feeds on fear.”
Buffy: “Our fears are manifesting it. We’re feeding it.
We need to stop.”
Xander: “If we’re close our eyes and say it’s a dream it’ll stab
us to death! These things are real.”
Rumbling voice: “Release me!”
Buffy: “Okay, so our fears are feeding it, if we get everyone
out of here..”
The walls start knocking and shaking.
Xander: “Good plan. Lets go!”
Walks towards the door. He screams when it burst open to reveal
Giles with the running chainsaw in his hands. Giles turns off the
saw.
Xander: “Giles? Everyone, it’s Giles! With a *chainsaw*.
(Anya runs in and hugs Xander) Glad you could make it.”
Giles: “The walls closed up behind us. (Walks over and
takes a look at Willow’s book) Gachnar, of course. It’s presence
infects the reality of the house, but it’s not managed to achieve full
manifestation. We can not allow this to come into being.”
Buffy: “But if it does I can fight it, right?”
Giles walks over and shows her a picture in the book: “Buffy,
this is Gachnar.”
Buffy: “I *don’t* want to fight that. So, we break the
spell.”
Xander: “What ever we do, lets do it fast.”
Giles flipping pages: “I have it, I have it. Uhm, ‘The summoning
spell for Gachnar can be shut down in one of two ways. Destroying
the mark of Gachnar (Buffy walks over to the mark and puts her fist
through it, ripping up the floorboards. Gets up and looks over at
Giles with a proud smile) – Is *not* one of them and will in fact immediately
bring forth the fear demon itself.”
Buffy makes a face and looks at the mark that’s beginning to glow.
Willow: “Look!”
The floor rumbles as they all stare in horror. We get a close
up of Gachnar, and he’s one ugly dude. Gachnar looks up and the camera
pulls back to reveal that he is tiny, maybe a half a foot tall, if that.
Buffy: “This is Gachnar?”
Xander: “Big overture. Little show.”
Gachnar: “I am the dark lord of nightmares! (Buffy tries
not to laugh) The bringer of terror! Tremble before me. Fear
me!”
Willow laughing: “He – he’s no cute!”
Gachnar: “Tremble!”
Xander bends down: “Who’s a little fear demon? Come on!
Who’s a little fear demon!”
Giles: “Don’t taunt the fear demon.”
Xander: “Why, can he hurt me?”
Giles: “No, it’s just – tacky. Be that as it may, Buffy,
when it comes to slaying...”
Buffy: “Size doesn’t matter?”
Gachnar: “They’re all going to abandon you, you know.”
Buffy: “Yeah, Yeah.”
We get a shot of Buffy’s huge foot as she stomps down and squishes
the fear demon.
Cut to the gang digging into Giles Halloween candy at his house.
Oz: “Some quality treats here, Giles.”
Giles: “*Please*, finish them.”
Buffy: “Uhm, this is much better. There is no problem that
can not be solved with chocolate.”
Willow leans back crossing her arms over her stomach: “I think
I’m going to barf.”
Buffy: “Except that.”
Xander stares at Anya while he’s eating his candy.
Anya: “What?”
Xander: “That’s your scary costume?”
Anya: “Bunnies frighten me.”
Giles: “Oh, bloody hell. The inscription!”
Buffy: “What’s the matter?”
Giles comes over to show her the book: “I should have translated
the Gaelic inscription under the illustration of Gachnar.”
Buffy looks at it: “What’s it say?”
Giles: “Actual size.”
After a beat Buffy shrugs and closes the book.